I’m sorry, Emily. This looks nothing like you. Your nose and mouth are too big and your eyes are two different sizes. All the proportions are wrong. I give up. No refunds.
I’m sorry, Elizabeth. I think the weird angle of your picture confused me. So that’s why this looks so screwy. That, and the fact that I have no idea what I’m doing. No refunds.
I’m sorry, Christina. I tried capturing your great eyes, but I think I made the lashes too long. Now this looks all weird and I don’t know how to fix it. I’m a moron. No refunds.
I’m sorry, Noah. I made your face too wide. And your smile is all wrong. I’m not very good a drawing mouths. I hope you can forgive me. No refunds.
I’m sorry, Bernhard. I was trying out a new way of drawing facial hair and I think it backfired. You must think I’m an idiot. You’re probably right. No refunds.
I’m sorry, Lauren, Corey, and Carly. I guess I got carried away with the whole “pretending to eat the baby thing” and drew you actually eating your baby. That’s my bad. Won’t happen again. No refunds.
Sorry, fellas. You look like a bunch of really cool dudes. But I’m awful at drawing caricatures, so now you look like a bunch of weirdos. I don’t know what went wrong. No refunds.
I’m really sorry, Scott and Lorene. This is almost offensive. You must think I’m a real jerk for drawing you both so poorly. I have no excuses. I’m sorry. No refunds.
I’m sorry, Emily and Dog. I really like your matching outfits. Too bad my drawing of you turned out so crappy. You must think I’m an idiot. You’re right. No refunds.
I’m sorry, Adriana and Justin. You both look like very nice people. So I’m even more disappointed in my terrible drawing. I have no idea what I’m doing. No refunds.